Phoenix Rising

Hey taste testers, it has been awhile but our kitchen was being remodeled. (I love metaphors lol) By kitchen I am actually talking about my mental state and my way of thinking. I wanted my blog to grow into this amazing site that people loved to subscribe to because of the wonderful stories and information that was shared. I was also expecting so much support from friends and family. For the first month the site traffic was amazing and I was getting so many suggestions on what needed to be changed and how things should be presented. Unfortunately, these suggestions or opinions I should say mixed in with a whole lot of divorce and co-parenting drama caused me to loose my passion to write. I was loosing focus of why I started this blog in the first place. This blog was started as a therapeutic technique to help me with my daily battle against depression & anxiety now that these conditions were starting to take a physical toll on my body. My doctor suggested that I focus on things that make me happy and write about them since I have a natural love of writing. So my topic was easy, nothing makes me happier than my current relationship and the blended family that we have together. As the blog grew successful, I took on an additional project and birthed a peer support group for Millennial women battling with depression, anxiety and many other mental illnesses. My Sister’s Keeper (www.iam-msk.com) is something I hold very close to my heart.  Once again I was hoping and honestly expecting a lot of support from people since this was for a positive cause. This venture took off really quickly and I received a lot of outside support and love from people that I would have never expected. Ironically I'm forced to finally see that many of the people whom I believed would be along for the ride are not.  

So for the last two weeks my depression has been getting the best of me as I am coming to terms with the fact that everyone isn't meant to go on every journey with you. I am acknowledging that not everyone deserves all of me because in return i am only getting crumbs from them. Yes, there are people that genuinely love me that have not read a single one of my blog entries they haven’t even subscribed. To me that doesn’t logically make sense when you have time for social media. But to keep my energy flowing in a positive direction I am choosing to respect their perspective. This lack of support was something that hurt and emotionally beat me down originally, yet like a phoenix I am rising from the flames of my depression and my pain stronger than ever. I am finding my inner strength and confidence. I am seeing real friendship and making unbelievable business connections.

  

There are still days where I am not sure which way is up and that's ok, because I have realized regardless of which way this day faces tomorrow is a new day.